U MAD BRO?

Scott Pell
Writer

Why is it that anger is a main trait of the gamer stereotype? Gamer rage is real thing, and it affects every gamer. Whether because of some kind of glitch, a player that killed us online, or lag. We gamers get very angry. Some would describe it as a kind of passion. However, it can be very destructive. The nature of gamers playing video games is that they should be more.... playful. There is a reason that we play video games, and that is because we enjoy them. All too often there are Youtubers, Twitch Streamers, and many other gaming personalities that just get angry at video games. Heck, Angry Joe and The Angry Video Game Nerd are two of the most highest subscribed Youtube channels out there. Why is this? Is it because we, as consumers and viewers, enjoy other peoples pain? Is it because that we are not the ones involved?

I watch The Game Grumps on a regular basis, and I always find it so much more entertaining when they are having fun. It is absolute agony when Arin and Danny get frustrated or angry at the games. Sometimes games are designed to infuriate and get some kind of reaction from the players, other times they are not. Either way, it kind of reinforces a notion that we play video games to torture ourselves.

Video games used to be really hard. So hard in fact that even Dio used them as a fake torture device in the music video for "The Last in Line". Seriously. It's weird. But! Gamers do enjoy a challenge, and when that challenge is finally overcome, we are awash with a wave of satisfaction of being able to complete that which we knew we could do all along. That is why we play video games. Not to torture ourselves. Sometimes we have our off days, though.

Online multiplayer in video games is probably the greatest source of gamer rage, and for good reason. There are many variables that are uncertain when entering into this realm. Video games these days enforce upon the player that they are the best, and that they are the heroes of their stories. All of that changes when they enter an online arena.  The rules still apply, yet other players have found ways to take advantage of them and manipulate them to their advantage. Plus, poor matchmaking algorithms mess up and pair new players with veteran ones. It is surprising how often that happens. However, this is a primary source of frustration, because of that aforementioned contrast of the single player mode verses that of the multiplayer. Gamers get it in their mind that they are the best, or at the very least, half-way decent at the game. What once was a fun challenge is now a confusing and frustrating slaughter against players who are far superior to you. It doesn't sound like much fun, but with determination, you too can grow to compete and even score a few points for your team. Yet that process is a very long and trying one.

All of that being said, video games are kind of what you make of them. Some of them can be relaxing, others can be a story, others can be a challenge. It comes down to what the player wants from them. Their choice and taste dictate what kind of gamer they are, and that does not speak for the entirety of gamers.

Death Loop

Scott Pell
Writer

So, the thing with video games is that they have save points. Obviously this is unrealistic, but have you ever been playing a game where you Amy have screwed yourself over with a bad save or something like that? There's just no possible way to go back, or resolve the situation because you're in this repeating death loop, or in an unwinable situation because you just don't have enough supplies? The only solution is to go back to the previous save and try to stock up for that which you got stuck in. It sucks having to retreat familiar ground, but don't you wish that you could just have that convention in real life?

Often times in life, we make mistakes. It happens. We are human, and nobody is perfect or has that level of foresight to ensure that nothing goes wrong, but things can, and often do, go wrong. It's kind of inevitable. I feel like I'm in one of those situations where I'm still fighting in an unwinable situation and I don't want to let it go and I continue to fight this impossible situation. It's fruitless, I know, but I continue to hold on. 

I've been fighting this for a long time, long beyond its passing, but it keeps me moving forward in a way. I know that there is no situation where I come out the victor in that scenario. But I still hold onto that save file. 

Sometimes I keep those old saves, and just create a new file. That's kind of what we do, don't we? We hold on to those situations where we know we couldn't win. It doesn't make much sense, and it's taking up hard drive space. So why hold on? We never go back to it.

I think that I hold on to those situations, because I want to remember where I was, and I can see where I am now and be proud of myself for how far I've come. Because I've reloaded that last save and reevaluated where I am in life, and I've decided to move on and become stronger. Maybe I can revisit that spot in this crazy adventure in life, but there's no telling. There's no harm in being leveled up.

Video Game-y

By Scott Pell
Writer

Weakpoints, boss battles, checkpoints, save points, side quests. All these things are tropes of the video game world, and they can only be described as "video game-y". Sometimes in other media we come across something that is video game-y, and we criticize it for being thus. Even in video games we criticize something if it comes off as too video game-y. Why is that a bad thing? Why does it never feel good to see something video game-y? Are video games bad? Why is it that when we encounter things that are distinct of video games, that it breaks our immersion?

I don't know. I like video games, and I think that video games are great, but there are somethings that just don't translate well to other media. The idea for this article came about when my brother sat down to play The Last of Us and played through the sequence where the Bloater is first introduced. He described it as "video game-y". I thought it weird of him to describe a video game that way, but he had a point. A boss battle doesn't really belong in a game that is so narratively driven as The Last of Us. If you remove that sequence from the game, nothing is particularly lost. The same could be said for a variety of content across all media, for various reasons. There's no harm in cutting out excess fat. However, what made the introduction of the Bloater in The Last of Us video game-y is that it puts the player in an arena with this giant monster, and they are forced to fight it. No running away, no other enemies. It's one on one in a fight to the death. Kinda sounds familiar....

I know that I rag on Mega Man a lot for being the most typical game in existence, but its themes and tropes resonate throughout games, even today. This bothers me that developers think that they have to have some element in their game to make it feel like a video game.

This is frustrating to me because it brings up the debate of what makes a video game a video game. That question is stupid because it is restrictive to the medium. If we set parameters and limitations to what a game can and cannot have, then we stymie the growth of video games and they will never be able to evolve as an art form. I firmly believe that video games are an art form, and as such, they should be allowed to grow, mature, experiment and try to do things differently, even if the end result is bad. The conversation / debate of what constitutes a video game needs to stop, because various developers don't need to be pressured into how to make the game that they don't even want to make. I'm not sure how this boss battle in The Last of Us came about, but I am certain that it was not discussed in a conference room. These design tropes are so embedded into how we see games, that it must have come out as a force of habit.

If games are art, then the should not have any restriction other than the fact that they need to be interactive in some respect. Whether the game is two dimensional, three dimensional, a racer, or a platformer, text-based or turn-based, it still needs to be interactive. That's what makes up a video game. We don't all need hit points, or leveling up, or status effects, or area of effects, or kill to death ratios. We just need to play.

A New Study Shows...

What really irks me about these scientific studies that try and prove that video games are good for people is that they are pointless. Citing these studies is similar to reading the nutrition labels on a package of Oreo's. They do nothing to validate your reasoning for playing video games.

Video games are more or less an indulgence. They're a lot of fun, and you can lose yourself in them. We exist in a culture where "bingewatch" has been added to the dictionary. People are very indulgent and do things that they please, just because. Sure, it isn't very healthy to sit in front of a television for hours at a time, but it isn't that uncommon.

I don't quite understand why we have to keep on conducting and releasing new studies that have some new statistic about how video games can improve cognitive activity in the human brain. That's all well and good, but there is much more to a game than its gameplay and interactivity. Games have other elements that are essential to complete the experience for the player. Story, art, music, characters, and many other elements that combine to create the total aesthetic of the game. What kind of game would The Last of Us be if it was just about its gameplay? If Joel would go through each scenario without story or purpose?

I know that I am not approaching this from a wrong angle. However, video games are the things that are still trying to be validated, so that others don't criticize gamers quite as harshly. It's why I write my blog. There is so much more to video games than people let on. Perhaps there is a communication barrier, and to others video games seem like a waste of time. Video games are not a waste of time, and they are not bad for you. As Shigeru Miyamoto said, "Video games are bad for you? That's what they said about rock& roll."

Gamers, Submit to your Games

Video games are all about providing players with amazing experiences and giving them a sense of power and significance. So, it would make sense for games to give players the opposite of that, right?

The trend of really difficult games has made a bit of a comeback. Games like Dark Souls, Bloodborne, and Super Meat Boy have all been examples of absolutely crushing players. Back in the day of NES, and the arcade, games were crazy difficult. However, when a player would overcome the challenge, it felt a lot more rewarding.

Games still provide a challenge to present the player with, yet there is more of a focus on the overall experience of the game. With new consoles and technology, games can do a lot more than they used to. The Last of Us, Mass Effect, Red Dead Redemption and many more games are all examples of this. Telltale Games has carved out a very profitable niche based entirely around storytelling and providing an experience for the player. The thing is, though, these games are kind of easy.

All of these games have a certain kind of flow, and they allow players to go through the story mode at a decent pace. There are still roadblocks and choke-points that the player still comes across, yet they seem to be few and far between. Even when playing on the hardest difficulty, players can still find a rhythm and relearn how to play to the game's rules. All of those games still provide the player with a sense of awesomeness and agency where they are the focal point, and make them feel good about themselves and the overall experience. However, there is something to be admired in a game that absolutely crushes the players confidence.

Super Meat Boy was a good experience for me, because it was really difficult. Sure, I have years of video game playing experience, but nothing I had done would prepare me for what Super Meat Boy is. I had do take a deep breath and humble myself before the game. I knew that I was going to die a lot when playing the game. I think that's why gamers get so frustrated and angry when they die in a video game.

Gamers lack humility because most games build them up as being unstoppable badasses. When they come to a point that they can't get through with ease; to them, it doesn't make any sense. It's also why gamers get so frustrated when they lost in multiplayer games. It isn't fun to lose, but you should be able to accept that you're not the greatest gamer ever. It's important to be able to recognize where you are, and be humble about it. Do not doubt yourself just because you are not where you want to be, but instead; realize that you have a ways to climb and that the only way to go is up.

Then The Right Words Just Came To Me...

I love video games. I think they are pretty, dang rad. I go to them for escape, and I go to them for inspiration. I think that there is a lot that can be expressed in video games that other art forms cannot. On the simple basis that a video game has some level of interactivity, there are many different things that can be considered video games. Video games that are as simplistic as Journey can speak volumes to its audience. Games like Shenmue or Mass Effect can express ideals to its audience.

Many of us go through life and experience the ordinary. Not too many of us are confronted with the world changing decisions that video games present us with. Yet, I think that, by putting ourselves into these situations and fighting the good fight, we can learns something about ourselves and grow a bit.

Have you ever been in a situation where you just hurt so much, or have this kind of emotion that you just can't express? I think that everybody has at one point or another. Usually we can go to our favorite music, or movie and just kind of "fill the void" to cope with whatever it is that we're going through at the time. They can help us understand, or make us understand, and express something in a way that we couldn't think of, and suddenly it all clicks because of a lyric in a song or a speech in a movie. This is the magic of art. It can comfort us, or disrupt our reality. Bringing to light that which was hidden before.

So, why didn't I mention video games? Truth be told, I don't know. I've had moments where video games have brought things to light, and given me the strength to push forward in areas of my life. Although, video games are not quite as relateable as other artforms. For some reason, they are more obscure, and relegated to those that "have no life". So, clearly there would be no need of video games to teach us things. On the other hand, nobody seems to ask the "why" as to why we spend so much time in these realities.  Perhaps it's because life has got us down. Perhaps it's because we want to get away from it all. Perhaps it's because we want to let out some aggression. Or, perhaps, it's simply because video games are fun, and we're just kinda bored.

These are the questions that I don't see being asked, or even considered, when it comes to people who play video games. I understand that ignorance is at thing, but people should still be considerate. I understand that this is something that cannot be done away with, and that there will always be people who don't quite understand video games. There will be people who don't quite understand any kind of thing that you love, but that is no excuse for their behavior. Nor is it any reason for you to give up.

I feel like I wrote about this last time I posted, but I care very deeply about this. I love my video games, and I don't think that I should be judged because I spend so much time around them. We all have our passions, and we all have our niches, and through these things, we can find comfort and inspirations. There are multitudes of things that we go to when we need to get away, or are in pain. For me, it's video games.

Just a Board With Some Wheels

I don't remember the first time that I ever played Tony Hawk's Pro Skater, but I do remember playing that game a lot. I was never influenced to actually get on a skateboard and try it out, but my mind was opened to new way of living. I am not a punk, skater, or rebel, but I do feel as though I have a kind of connection to them with how much I have invested into that culture of alternative sports and punk music.

When Tony Hawk's game was released, it was about the same time that the X-Games began. All of this kind of culture was slammed into my face, like a wave was washing over me and taking me out to sea. Everything about skateboarding, BMX, and all things extreme sports were just so cool. I wanted to be part of that world. Whatever I was doing with my life was nowhere near as cool as the people who were skating around town, and wearing cool clothes. This painted the image of what was cool to me. Sticking it to the man, and looking good while doing it. Everything about them, from their image to their attitude just exuded coolness, and I was nowhere near it, but I wanted it so bad.

The whole extreme sports movement received a lot of flak from the general public, as most new things do. Yet, skateboarding stuck around, because of course it would. This further reinforced that attitude of rebellion. Skateboarding was here to stay, and it wasn't going to take any guff. While the image of skateboarding has an intense, visceral image, the reason for skateboarding was a lot softer than most would think.



To many, skateboarding is an escape from the pressures of everyday life. It's their discipline. While most would tell them that is a waste of time, and that they are better off adhering to the ideals of society, they don't want to hear any of it. Simply, they don't fit in. Skateboarding is something to work at, and wash away the blues. Folks who skateboard seem angry because they don't like being told what to do, or that what they're doing is a waste of time. To tell someone working at their passion is a waste of time is wrong. Even if you don't understand it, that does not give you the right.

I've spent most of my life playing video games, and I constantly feel the pressures from society that I'm wasting my time with it. That what I'm doing won't take me anywhere. I've even had family members tell me this. How defeating is that? But, I've kept at it. I've evolved in the way that I play video games. I have learned so much from them, and I continue to write about them because it's what I love to do.

I have a few games that I call my "anytime games". These are the kind of games that I can just sit down and play no matter what mood I'm in. One of which is skate. which is where the video above comes from. The game just has the laid back feeling throughout. It has an easy going hip-hop, trip-hop soundtrack that is mellow and has a slow beat to jam out to. Playing skate. is like a jam session. I can find a bench or a box in the game and spend a few minutes working on a particular trick. Sometimes I just roll around the city.

Skateboarding has never really left my life, even though my lifestyle choices may not reflect it, but I've still kept it close to my heart. Long after the Tony Hawk games stopped, I would watch TV shows on Feul TV, and they too had the laid back feeling of people jamming out on their boards and bikes. It was cool, and it was beautiful. To see these people who have practiced so hard at their craft to do these amazing tricks. It wasn't to show off, but to have fun. That, to me, is what skateboarding is all about.

The Grind

I hate grinding in video games. It always makes me feel like I'm stuck. I feel as though this portion of video games should be done away with, as it breaks up the flow of the story that it's trying to tell. Yet, there is an important lesson that we can take away from grinding in video games.

Not all that long ago, I got myself a job. I was happy to finally be able to earn some income again, but I also felt defeated, as I couldn't put all of my energy to doing the things that I love most. It was necessary for me to get a job, as my funds were running low. I wasn't left with much of a choice in the matter. I always feel stuck when I get a new job. I feel like I can't make any progress. I still do my best to work on my passions. Even now as I write, I'm working on something that I love. Part of this is about time management. It still feels like a grind to go to my job, and keep things stable, but at the same time I can feel secure knowing that I have some money coming my way to be able to pay the bills. It's a strange feeling of frustration and safety. I feel frustrated that I have to go to my job day in and day out, but I know that this is all helping me to get to my end goal.

When we hit a choke point in an RPG, we usually have to grind and level up our characters. Even though we want to move forward and save the world, that isn't always an option. It is something that doesn't happen in an instant. The game forces us to grind by presenting us with an area that has enemies that are far beyond our current level. So, we, as the player, have to take our time and level up. We all want to move forward and get on with the story, but it takes work to become a hero. Players are left to complete menial tasks, and run around in circles just to get some experience to level up and become stronger. It is repetitive, it's boring, and it hardly feels like any progress is being made. Yet, the leveling of the characters is constantly improving. The characters are always getting stronger. They might even find some new and better gear to improve their stats.

It always sucks when we get stuck in a video game. It feels even worse when the game designers force players to grind because of a high-level area, but this sort of thing builds up character; not just for their statistics, but also your attachment to them. We spend so much time with these characters, and investing into them that there is a bond that forms between the character and the player. Whenever I play an RPG of any kind, I always have certain party members that I get attached to. Whether it's because of their personality, or how they compliment my squad and we become a more effective unit because of their addition. I always send my favorite party members the best stuff. They are the ones who always get the best gear, weapons, and any other improvement that I can afford them. It's almost as though they are my friends, and I can be generous towards them because I have the means to do so. I feel closer to them because I spend so much time with them, even if it is just running around in circles leveling them up.

This is where I find myself. I am at a choke point. In order for me to progress in this crazy game of life, I have to do some grinding. It's going to suck, a lot, but progress will always be made. I'll be able to put money in the bank. I'll be able to pay bills. I'll even be able to buy some stuff for my other projects to improve the quality of them! And of course I will be able to purchase new video games. There are advantages to grinding, it just feels like nothing is getting done.

Keep your head down, and plow through whatever struggles you are facing. If you feel stuck, keep moving forward, even if it feels like you aren't taking any steps, you are. Work on your passions, always be creating, and keep moving forward.

Achievement Unlocked

I hate Achievements, and trophies for that matter. They are pointless, and pop up at the most inconvenient times to break the player from the grasp of the tone that the game is trying to set. They don't prove anything, and they are a waste of time in video games. That being said, we as players should recognize the things that we have done in video games. Not only in video games, but in the things that we do every day.

I've struggled a long time with giving myself credit for things that I do. I don't know why I trivialize my accomplishments. Yet, I do my best to keep updating this blog at least once a week. I make videos regularly on my YouTube channel. I make a podcast now. I stream daily on Twitch. There is a lot that I do, that I can feel proud of. I think the reason for my trivialization of my accomplishments is, that if I can do it, anybody else can. Yet, there's no one else around who does what I do the way that I do it. It may not be considered "conventional", but I still manage to complete the task. I work hard at the things that I love. I always try to do my best. Sometimes, that may not be good enough for somebody else, but I don't do it for them. I do it for me.

I feel really good when I'm able to upload a video, or make a blog post. I enjoy playing video games on my stream, even if nobody is watching. I love what I do. I might not have 10,000 subscribers or followers, or what have you, I still enjoy doing what I do. I still strive to make sure that it is something that I am proud of, and that I am happy with how it turned out. Admittedly it is a little bit discouraging when my articles don't get any comments, or my videos don't get any views. Yet, I still press on, because I do it out of love and passion for the things that I do.

I know that there are a lot of people out there who just don't have a direction, and that is difficult. I know that every single person has a passion. I know that everyone out there has a unique voice and talent for one thing in particular. I know that everyone is a nerd for something, and that is what drives them.

When everyone out there seems to be doing the same thing that I'm doing, and getting noticed for it, it certainly is discouraging. I want to write about video games, I want to talk about video games, I want to do everything that I can to promote my passion and love for video games, but it seems that everyone else on the internet is doing the same thing. But! The one thing that they can't take away from me is my voice, my passion, and my love. I intensely care about what I do. I adore video games, and it means a lot to me to speak with my words about them. I am unique, and so are you.

We are all individuals. We are all players. Whether we play the tank, the healer, the rogue, the mage, the outsider, the leader, the support, the hero, or the villain. We are unique. We all have a voice, and we all have a passion. Find it, and go for it.

Getting to Know You

Video games are weird. We can start playing them for a good long while, and then suddenly put them down. Or is that just something that I do? Either way, we gamers tend to build up a backlog of games that never seems to end. When we finally get around to playing the game, we may have forgotten why we bought it in the first place.

There's a game that I've been trying to play lately called Antichamber. It's a really strange game, with simplistic visuals, and extremely complex rules and mechanics. When I first started it up, I was really into it, and I managed to make it a decent way through it. I decided to call it a night and put it down, and from that moment, I haven't been able to pick it back up again, that is until a few days ago. This weekend I decided to started up Antichamber again just to see if I could make any progress, and well, I couldn't. I had forgotten where I was, and how the game worked. Normally when I play a game, I really can get a sense for how the game plays, and how it thinks. That is to say, that I get to know the game by spending a lot of time with it. By playing a game for a long time, players learn the rules and mechanics of the game, and understand how it works. This is how good games are supposed to be, by letting players experiment and learn. Their knowledge of the game becomes intimate as they learn the ins and outs of the game. From its story, to its characters, to its lore, to how the game works. Isn't this similar to the relationships in our lives?

As I've written before about our party members, we keep in touch with a very tight circle of friends. Yet, there are people in our lives that we lose touch with. They were good friends, it's just that sometimes life gets in the way and we fall apart, or perhaps, something went wrong in the relationship and it falls apart. Whatever the reason, there is still a chance for you to run into them again, or the thought of them still lingers in your mind. What happens when you get in touch with them again? It's rather odd isn't it? When someone whom you haven't spoken with contacts you, or you contact them? You may have forgotten all about them, or vice versa. What if the conversation continues? You forget how conversations with them used to be. In a sense, you've forgotten how to play. You've lost your touch. You've changed. You may not even be in the mood to play that game anymore. Time passes, and people change. It is the way of things. Games don't, though, which is what makes this a rather shaky metaphor, but still. There are many times when we look back on the people in our lives and wonder what happened, where they've gone, or even why we hung around them in the first place. Though, this is the road of life. It is paved with experiences and people that we meet along the way. Perhaps it might be in our best interest to leave them alone, or it might do you some good to dust off those old games and rejuvenate an old flame that you once had with it. Who knows what could happen? It might be a good experience, or it might not be. Who am I to say?

I think it is important to be able to look back and remember the good times and the bad. There are things in our past that are remembered fondly, while others are not so good. There are times that may seem better than they actually are because of nostalgia, or we might look back and wonder what on earth we were thinking when we did them. There are different phases that we all go through, and because of them we grow. We learn what is good, and what is bad. What is right, and what is wrong. What works for us, and what doesn't. Sometimes we have to go outside of our comfort zones to learn this, and sometimes will change us forever, or it might not.

The Floor (E3)

One question that I've frequently been getting since I've been back home is: "what games did you get to play?" The truth is, that wasn't the reason that I wanted to go to E3. Instead, I was intent on meeting people and making contacts. Seeing the press conferences first hand, as opposed to seeing them online. And I feel pretty confident that I was able to do those things. I may not have met everyone that I was hoping to, but I still made quite a lot of contacts.

E3 is traditionally held in the Los Angeles Convention Center, and I remember seeing the building for the first time on Sunday during the Nintendo World Championships. There was a giant banner advertising the up and coming Call of Duty: Black Ops III game. Needless to say, I wasn't too interested in that, but I was still in awe of its proximity. I was so close, but so far away. I knew that I would be there soon.

In fact, I was there the next day to get my attendee badge. Walking into the building was like walking into the hall of a great king, or that's what it felt like. There were banners and displays of future games that everyone would get to see when they finally made it to the floor. I remember being in awe of the grand scale of the building that I was in. I was in total disbelief that I was actually there at E3. This was something that I have dreamed of for years and years. I couldn't help but have a smile across my face the entire time. This was on Monday, though, so the event didn't start until the next day. I only got my badge on Monday to help get me into press conferences and because I didn't do it on Sunday.

When Tuesday rolled around, and I showed up early, thinking that the doors opened up at 10, when they actually ended up opening at 12. Well, that gave me some time to socialize and talk with some fellow gamers. I met a couple of folks and we were talking about our E3 experience and where we're from. While we were talking about this and that, I had overheard that the Nintendo booth had opened up early. I dismissed myself from the line, and headed over to the other hall.

I was pleased to see that the other hall was not quite as crowded. I ended up meeting a gentleman who was the graphic editor at Riot games. He does all the cool graphics for the LCS news show. It was a really fascinating conversation, and to make things a bit more cool, this was also the entrance near where the media area was. I got to see a couple members of the press, such as Adam Sessler, and Kevin Pereira.

Finally it came to enter into the event. When the doors officially opened, everyone organized into lines and started into the hall. When I crossed the threshold, I could feel the gigantic smile return to my face. I HAD MADE IT! I was practically skipping through the hall. I merrily made my way to the Nintendo Booth to check out what they had there. I darted towards a demo of Yoshi's Wooly World. There stood a woman with a Nintendo shirt and a smile. She greeted me and started telling me more about the game. I played the demo of the game, and was thoroughly impressed. I adored the design and the gameplay was fun. After I was finished with the game, I hit the floor.

To be honest, I don't quite remember each detail of the games that I got a chance to play, or the things that I got to see. I was at E3, and I was completely consumed by the fact that I had finally made it. I had wanted this moment for so long. I was astounded at the amount of people that were there. I met a lot of people, and even got to meet some of my idols like Ted Price Todd Howard. I also got to meet a few Youtubers, such as Smooth McGroove, Alex from the Completionist, and even the Game Grumps. It was a fantastic event where I was able to experience much, and meet many people. I was very happy to have gone there. I learned much, and I feel like I grew a little bit as a person.

I went on many adventures, snuck into places where I probably shouldn't have, I talked to strangers and maybe have made some friends. This was a wonderful experience that I am so glad that I was able to be a part of. I will definitely make it a point to go again for next year.

Day Zero (E3)

Day Zero of E3 is the day that all of the big companies have their press conferences. I've always enjoyed watching them online, and speculating each of their presentations and the games that they have to offer. I've never attended one of these events before, but this year I had the opportunity, and gosh darn it I was going to.

First up was Microsoft. As I was merely an attendee of E3, I didn't know where the conference was being held, only when. I got my schedule of the days events through a paused video on YouTube that had the companies and times laid out in a clear format. Again, only the when. However, through some internet sleuthing, I found out the where. Oddly enough, it was on a Wikipedia article. With the aid of Google Maps, I was on my way out the door. I ended up at the back of the line, as many members of the press had gotten there early to be punctual and grab a good seat. However, the building had reached capacity. When this happened, a man in a suit walked to the back of the line and asked everyone to follow him in an orderly fashion. I and the other would be attendees were led through a series of concrete halls to get to the entrances into the great hall where the conference was already underway. Some of us were lined up, standing shoulder to shoulder. It felt like I was on the receiving end of a firing squad, as the eyes of more well dressed people with Microsoft badges scanned us over with judgmental eyes for not being on time. I had the inkling in the back of my neck to make a break for it, and dash into the auditorium to see the conference. I was so close. The entry way was right there, and I could hear the booming sound from the trailers they were showing. I could see the scene from every movie where the panicked soldier runs from the line-up and gets shot in the back. I knew that if I were to make a similar move, I would have been thrown right out and I wouldn't have been able to see the show at all. Patiently I waited as the officials began counting us off. The first set of counting ended with me at number fourteen. What a serendipitous moment as that was the same number that I was at the Nintendo World Championships. In fact the number was still on the wrist band I was wearing. I and the thirteen others were lead into the stadium, and I was so excited I couldn't help but shout "I made it in!" out loud. I ended up being seated in the farthest seat from the stage, but there was a landing up front that I could see myself sitting on. I leaned over and asked the man who was watching the entrance if I could make my way up there. He seemed a bit confused at first, but didn't see a problem with it. Thus, my viewing of the Microsoft Press Conference was happening. It was a very exciting time, as it was my first ever press conference to see live. These press conferences are like KISS shows for gamers. Special effects, and big names in the industry all come out onto the stage and show off their new games with attractive screenshots and buzzwords. I was so excited the whole time. Unlike watching an event like this from home, where I was safe behind my TV screen, I let myself go to the hype, and every reaction that I had was amplified by a million. It was a great conference.



Next up: EA. EA is most known for their sports franchises. However, this year I was really looking forward to anything that I could see of Star Wars: Battlefront. I have been eagerly awaiting anything that I could see in regards to that game. I wanted to make sure that it had the same sort of feeling as the games that me and my brother played together. Yet, I had to wait until the end of the show. I ended up showing up a half hour late because, again, I didn't know where the conference was being held. After the Microsoft Press Conference, I was asking around to anyone whose attention I could get about the location of the next conference. Most people didn't reply, or told me that they weren't going. Though, I feel as though they all abided by the rule of: "If you have to ask, you're not supposed to be there". I decided that I would just follow the huge throng of journalist that were making there way away from the Microsoft Press Conference. Some got in taxis, others took personal transportation, but most of them just walked. I caught up with the group, and happened upon two men who were from Kotaku.com. I didn't know that at the time, I was busy making my way to catch up with the rest of the people who were making their way to what I thought was going to be the EA press conference. I overheard one of the two men say that they had blown up Mars and the Moon, and I was curious as to what he was talking about. It turns out that he was talking about Destiny, and so we ended up talking about video games and the like until we reached the Los Angeles Convention Center. We parted ways, as they told me they were going to wait for the Sony Press Conference later on that day. I ended up searching the convention center looking for some information for the location of where the press conference would be held. I eventually made my way to the media registration office and help desk. Without question, the woman at the help desk opened up a binder with the times, locations, and names of the companies that would be having their press conferences, and she let me take photos of them so I would have them. With that knowledge, I set out with Google Maps as my guide. I boarded a bus, and made my way to the EA Press Conference. Because of my dawdling, I showed up a half hour late. However, they slapped a wrist band on me and let me go in. I watched the rest of the conference from the wings of the hall, and was in awe of the new games that were being shown off.



I squealed like a little girl after seeing the gameplay of Star Wars Battlefront. I was so excited to see actual gameplay of the game that I had been looking forward to for so long was coming to fruition. I may have over done it with my reaction, but hey, it was my first E3. However, when the press conference was done, I was approached by a member of DICE, the company that is currently developing the new Star Wars Battlefront game. She wanted to set up an interview with Sigurlina Ingvarsdottir, the woman who was presenting Battlefront on stage during the press conference. Unfortunately it didn't pan out, because of her busy schedule during E3. Still, though, how awesome would that be if I got that interview? Either way, after the press conference was finished there was a panel involving a few people that were just on stage during the press conference. I decided to stick around for that, rather than try and sneak into the Ubisoft Press Conference. It turns out that I made a solid choice, as I got a good look into the day to day of developing video games. Hearing the stories that they told gave EA a more human aspect. These people really do care about the games that they are making, and that made me happy. They do it because they care about what they are doing, and not because they are just trying to make a paycheck.

After the panel had ended, it was time for me to make my way to the Sony Press Conference. I decided to walk there, because I had a good amount of time to spare. When I finally did arrive, the party had already begun. Sony's Press Conference was by far the most welcoming. The only issue that I had was that they searched my backpack and I had to throw out my energy drinks that I had planned to drink that week to stay awake during the floor hours. However, Sony allowed its attendees to have food and drink. So, I shouldn't complain about having to ditch my energy drinks. After I got my food, after having been cut in front of by a guy who looked like Orlando Jones, and passing by a table with a guy who looked a lot like Rupert Grint, I sat down with some podcasters from Norway. They were some cool dudes, and we were talking about the other press conferences that had happened that day. When the time came for everyone to move into the theater, I quickly gathered up my things and moved straight towards the entrance. I got in line with the mass of people heading in the same direction, and I made sure that I wouldn't have anyone cut in front of me, as with the food stand. When I got inside the building, I moved towards the stage towards the seating that was on the ground level. This was an amazing moment for me, because I was actually attending a press conference. I didn't have to sneak or lie my way in, I was supposed to be there, and it was amazing. Many games were announced, both new and old. And from left field came an announcement that blew me away. Shenmue 3. This game came out of nowhere, and left me... well, like this:

I was left in that state because I was so happy to see that the vision of Yu Suzuki had finally come to be realized. The game that he had been working on for so long will finally get to be finished. It was a shame to see such a visionary of the video game industry have doors slammed in his face, but now through this kickstarter, it would finally come to fruition. Sure, there may not be a release date, but it will be coming. The same thing could be said for the Final Fantasy Remake. Both of these games are a long time coming, but when they are released, I hope that the developers will have taken their time to ensure that it is the game that they wanted to make.

The Sony Press Conference was by far the strongest and most exciting of all the conferences that day, and it was a perfect end to an eventful day.

I do apologize for how long this post was, and how long it took me to write it. I wanted to talk about my experience with E3, and not do some kind of review or roundup of the days events. As I've said before, this was my first E3, and it was an amazing experience. I want to share that as much as I can with all of you. Thank you for taking the time to read it.

Dominique de Leon Interview

I got to meet Dominique de Leon Cosplay while I was at E3. She was sitting down at a panel for Bethesda, clad in full armor, and I thought "I'd like to talk with that person." So I did.

Alex from The Completionist Interview

Alex is a part of The Completionist, which is a great channel on YouTube. You should watch it.
http://www.thatonevideogamer.com/

Ted Price Interview

I GOT TO TALK TO TED PRICE! WHAT THE WHAT??!?!?!!??!?!?!?!!!?!?!?!

Gigantic Interview

Here's my for the upcoming game Gigantic. It looks like it's a lot of fun, and you should be excited for it.

Here's the trailer:

Eric Pope Interview - Rock Band 4

Cubicle Ninjas - Josh Farkas

My interview with Josh Farkas, creator of the meditation App for the Oculus Rift.

The Adventure Begins (E3)

Author's note: I want to do journal entry style posts, because this for me was an experience more than anything else. I don't wish to talk about who "won" E3. This was my first E3, and I want to share my experience with you.

I have returned! I have returned from the most amazing journey that I have ever taken in my life, and I am absolutely elated to be able to tell the tale of my adventure to Los Angeles California to experience E3. This is absolutely amazing, because I have been wanting to go to E3 ever since I found out about it many years ago. E3 stands for the Electronic Entertainment Expo, where tons of video game developers show up to show off. I have been wanting to go because I just love video games. However, this time, because I have matured, and am looking for ways to move ahead in life and in my field, I wanted to go to in order to meet some of my heroes of Internet fame, and respected members of the Gaming Journalism community. Though, that didn't mean that I wouldn't play any up and coming vidja games. Not at all! In fact, my week of E3 started my earlier than I thought that it would as Sunday was the day of the Nintendo World Championships!

The Nintendo World Championships were kind of a big deal, as they haven't been held in twenty-five years. For Nintendo to bring them back was a pretty cool thing. However, as there were no reservations, and no tickets to be purchased, folks had to show up early as wrist bands were being handed out on a first come-first serve basis. I myself, showed up at three o'clock in the morning in order to meet some fellow Nintendo fans and reserve a decent spot in line. There were many games of Super Smash Brothers played that day. I was surprised to find only a small handful of Nintendo fans there when I arrived so early in the morning. I honestly was expecting more, though the small number of them was compensated by the fact that they had been there since 8 PM the night before. I love Nintendo, and I was very excited to see the Nintendo World Championships, but let's be reasonable about it. Suffice it to say, these people were Nintendo fans. They were bundle up in Mario blankets and wearing Splatoon squid hats. I was right there with them, as I pulled my 3DS from my pocket and sat down, patiently awaiting the time they would be handing out the wrist bands for the attendees. The Nintendo officials weren't going to hand out any wrist bands until 9:30 that morning. Like I said: a lot of Super Smash Bros.

As time went on, more and more people started to show up, and the line grew larger. Nothing much happened until Nintendo had a live announcement to make on their Twitch channel. Everyone pulled out their phones to watch the event, including myself. We all huddle around the person with the nearest smartphone who had the stream active on their phone. The announcement wasn't for anything new or unexpected, as that information had been leaked already by data miners. It was rather unfortunate that happened, especially to a company like Nintendo, but the hype still remained. Even though everyone knew what was coming, we were all still excited. It was incredible to hear shouts from different groups reacting at different times because of delays in the streaming of their phones. It was quite the phenomenon, to be honest, because even I jumped on the hype train. I honestly didn't care much, but being surrounded by people who were genuinely excited and were jumping and yelling at every major and minor announcement got me just as excited. That kind of energy was infectious and it felt good.

The time finally came when we could be moved from across the street to next to the building where the event was being held, and the wrist bands would be handed out. Me and my new friend, whom I had only met the night before were excitedly awaiting our wrist bands. When we finally got them, we were met with a huge surprise: the first fifty (50) people in line were going to E3 for free. I had already registered to go, but this meant that I could bring someone with me. I called everyone that I could think of to tell them the news. I finally decided on giving it to my friend and podcast co-host. Unfortunately, he was out of town and couldn't register right away; meanwhile my phone was dying and didn't have the capacity to go through an entire registration process. Suffice it to say, we were both rather disappointed that he couldn't come along. That being said, the events that would transpire the rest of the week would more than make up for the few small setbacks that did happen.

Before the Nintendo World Championships actually began, members of the press who had deemed it news worthy showed up to the event. The folks who had shown up at 8 pm the night before had been moved to the special seating area, while me and my friend decided to take their place at the front. Therefore, the members of the press saw me and my friend at the front of the line, and decided to interview me. (I'd post some of the videos if I could find them, or remember who exactly it was who had interviewed me.) So, for that day, I was the face of the Nintendo fan-base, who had bravely shown up at 3 am to reserve his spot in line and see the Nintendo World Championships. I was interviewed by a Nintendo publication from Brazil, a local area publication, Destructoid.com, and some weird television show from Canada with an overactive host. Keep in mind, the championships hadn't even begun yet.

When the championships did begin, it was absolutely amazing to get into the air conditioned building and make my way towards the theater where the event would take place. It felt like I was going to see the greatest rock show in the history of the world. There were so many people that were already seated, and everybody was so excited to be there. There were talks of what games would be played, and who would be the victor. Everybody could finally relax when they found their seats, and could enjoy not being in the hot Los Angeles sun. The lights fell into place and fixated themselves on the stage as Kevin Pereira walked on stage, looking rather sharp in a well cut suit (how do people handle the heat wearing so many layers?). The players and commentators were introduced and the show began.

The show was a blast, and it felt like everyone was there to just enjoy video games. It was a silly concept, in hindsight, but none of us cared. We were there as a community of fans. People who enjoyed video games, specifically Nintendo ones. We all cheered and sighed mournfully when somebody on stage took a hit. We were in awe at the display of good sportsmanship that was shown, and we heckled Reggie Fils-Aime as he absolutely failed at Super Smash Bros. This was certainly a celebration of games, and the community they create. Then, the man himself came on stage to present the winner with the trophy for becoming the new Nintendo World Champion.

Shigeru Miyamoto, the creator of Mario, Zelda, Donkey Kong, and Star Fox, walked on stage to present the trophy. Soon the base of the stage was flooded by fans, and I was among them. Miyamoto walked along the edge of the stage and was shaking hands with those he could reach. I was in reach, too, but I didn't shake his hand. I was able to touch his hand though, and I'm okay with that. Arin Hanson, of the Game Grumps was also there, and I got to thank him for making Game Grumps and making me smile. I would get to meet him later on during the actual event of E3, but there's more of that to come later.

Well, that was day one of E3, and it wasn't even about E3. Join me next time when I write about E3: Day Zero where I talk about all of the conferences that I got to see. Thanks for stopping by!

I Am Not A Number

It seems to be a standard that games are to be reviewed with a score. How can you assign a number to an experience? This is standard for every kind of experience, though. We have means to review everything. Restaurants, skydiving schools, car dealerships, car washes, convenience stores. We can put in our two cents and slap a number on to whatever it was that we just did. Why is this? Why have a score? I think that it's all well and good to voice your opinion and describe your experience with something, but why do we always have to have a number to go along with it. When I see some kind of customer review, I never read it. I just glance at the rating, and make my decision based around that.

I know that my writing style is different from most other writers in the video game business, if you can call me part of that world, but I was recently looking up some freelance writing gigs and some of them gave a description of how they go about reviews. They required a scoring system. One number out of five, another number out of ten, pick a number between one and one hundred and you've got yourself a review. Sure, this number might spark an interest in reading the article, but the general consumer will only take a look at the number.

Adam Sessler, one of my heroes, would always go on about how he disapproved of the scoring system. The man is a writer, and he wants to talk about what he had experienced. At the same time, the man was also famous for the scoring system because he was on the most watched video game television show in the world. His writing style had evolved from the standard compartmentalized version of reviews to something more engaging and descriptive. I try to match that quality of writing whenever I decide to write a review, but I still fall into those standards of writing.

A basic review consists of breaking down and prioritizing the different parts of a game. Gameplay, then graphics, then story, then sound, then whatever. The fact is, that none of this does the game any justice. You can't judge a game by going of one part of it. The game has all of those elements put together for your experience of playing the game. Movie reviewers don't really seem to criticize movies by taking them apart one bit at a time, they discuss the movie as a whole. What stuck out to them, and what didn't quite grab them. I'm generalizing here, but game reviews have a very basic and sterile approach to how they analyze games. It really isn't fair to the reader, game developer, or the game itself.

I can't separate Halo's gameplay from it's soundtrack, nor can I separate Jet Grind Radio's graphics from its story. These things go in tandem, and they come at the player all at once. There is no need to break down each element. I think that we need to do away with this kind of review. Because a number isn't going to capture my exact experience.

Very Nice, How Much?

It's no secret that gaming is an expensive hobby. You have to make sure that you have the right video game console, or make sure that your computer is up to snuff. Second, the games themselves are sixty dollars when they're brand new. How is it that a hobby that is so expensive lasted this long, and why is it that it is so expensive? Truth be told, I don't know.

I always wonder how it is that movies cost so much to make, and yet only produce an experience that is only an hour and a half long. People go to see movies all the time. They are willing to pay the price of entry, eve though it has grown exponentially over time. Have movies gotten more expensive to make? I'd say so, given that most of the box office hits are all action movies with lots of explosions and special effects. Those have got to be expensive. Yet, does this have to affect the cost of a movie ticket? What about all of the movies with smaller budgets? The ones that aren't driven by action, but by character and story. Then again, even movies like that have a budget of around a million dollars. That's still considered a small budget by Hollywood standards.

Video games cost around the same to make as a Hollywood blockbuster, but they cost six times as much to purchase. I know that everyone in the world would be outraged if they paid sixty dollars to just go see a movie. If that was the cost of the DVD or Bluray when it hit store shelves, people would be outraged. Plus, when it comes to the current gen systems of the Xbox One and the PS4, users have to pay a subscription to access half of the features in the game, or of the console itself. 

Perhaps it's because these publishers, designers, and bigwigs figure that they have the corner on this market and can gauge as much money from their demographic as possible. It seems cruel, but when it comes to money, even people who have a lot already will do anything to get more. It is extremely unfair to the players. Most of the time, it isn't the players who are buying up the games, but their parents. This affects the entire family. I've been blessed, or rather spoiled, to have as many as I did growing up. I hear a lot of stories from my friends about how they only had a few games to play for their consoles. It makes sense. As I said before, video games are expensive, so it was a treasure when they would receive a video game. My friends would play the crap out of whatever game they had, and complete it to the 100%. I never did that. I've never completed a game all the way. I would blaze through the game, and never really give it a second thought. I was always saving up to buy the next game that caught my attention.

Perhaps there is value in games being so expensive. When I had enough money to make the next purchase for my Nintendo 64, I was ecstatic. I loved to buy new games. Even now I enjoy the feeling of having something new to play. I'm slowly getting into the realm of PC gaming, and I already have quite the backlog of games. When games only cost $1.25, I can buy several at the same time. In fact, just over the weekend, I bought six games, and I don't even remember the titles of all of them. Will I ever get around to playing all of them? I can't say, but I can say that I own some classic games. It's quite the conundrum. However, I think that this is a thing that happens with most people, whatever their passion may be. 

I was in the local comic shop purchasing the next issue of a series that I've been making my way through, and I had a chat with the girl at the counter. She talked about how she had a backlog for pretty much everything that she was into. She had TV shows to watch on Netflix, comics to read, games to play, DVDs to watch. It was all too much. She couldn't get around to enjoying all of her stuff. I think that it's human nature that we consume all that we do. Humans can be greedy like that. We want more, even though we have enough already. We scarcely seem to value what we have, and instead we just get bored with it rather easily. It doesn't seem very kind to dismiss the things that we have so flagrantly, but we don't care. All we want is to go on to the next thing. I'm definitely guilty of this. I didn't have to buy those games, but I did anyway. I had plenty of games to play in my Steam library, but I purchased those games all the same.

Folks, take stock of what you have, and enjoy it. Count your blessings, as they say. You have more than most others if you're reading my blog, and playing video games. Enjoy what you have. Enjoy the people around you. Game on, and play hard.

Mic Drop

Last night I performed at an open mic night, and told a story that went over very well. Everyone loved it, and I received many compliments and was told that it was the best story that had ever been told during said open mic nights. However, despite my calm nature when I finally took to the mic, I was terrified. My heart was beating so fast I thought it was going to suddenly stop from exhaustion. As the night went on, I only grew more nervous. Each performer was more impressive than the last, and I feared as though my story would be out of place and land upon ears that didn't want to hear the silly story that I had to tell. When I finally got up there, I achieved an inexplicable level of serenity and clear-mindedness. The story went off without a hitch, and everybody loved it. So what does this have to do with video games? I'm never afraid when playing video games.

Rarely is there a moment when my heart is pounding in my chest because I don't believe that I can do something. It's because in video games, I'm not actually there. I can die, and experiment with different strategies however many times that I want without anything to lose except time. There has never been any kind of threshold that I have struggled to cross because of my anxieties or fears. It is very difficult to capture this essence of fear. I've written before about how Zelda captures fear, but it isn't quite as intense as the fear that I experienced last night. Indeed, there is a fair amount of trepidation when entering into a dungeon in The Legend of Zelda, I do not wish to discredit or diminish that, but nothing that makes me feel as though I might fail.

What I felt last night was the fear that I might embarrass myself. That people would laugh, or look down upon me for telling a story that was intended to make people laugh, in a setting where people were bearing their soul through poetry. I felt out of place. These were amazingly talented people who have honed their craft, and continue to innovate and write something new. I was a newbie in a game of professionals. Yet, I came out of that open mic night a champion. I felt calm. I felt cool. I felt amazing. When I complete something in a video game, I'm left criticizing the end of a story arc. I analyze the characters and storytelling. I haven't really felt anything similar, except when I set a new high score in Star Fox 64.

Video games are an art form, and they should be treated as such. However, what sets them apart from other art forms, is that they seek to craft an experience. An experience that is similar to the one that I had last night. Something genuine. Something that that the players can look back upon and say that their life was changed, or that they had done something amazing. In that they had overcome something that they didn't think that they could have. I want more than tough boss battles. I want more than a good fire fight. I want more than to feel like a badass. I want to feel human. I want to feel afraid. I want to feel overwhelmed, until I can break through the ceiling of oppression and opposition and prove not only to them, but to myself that I can do this. That I DID do this. Because all I'm seeing, is a bunch of pixels dancing on a screen.

You Must Gather Your Party Before Venturing Forth (Part 3): Keeping It Classy

Who are you? What do you do? Who do you think you are? Who are you to your friends? Who are you to your family? Who are you to your lover? What brings you joy? These questions are tough, strange, and irresponsibly existential. Yet, these are the questions that we must ask ourselves to find out who we are. We have already asked what it means to be in a party, and why one is in a party. Now we must ask the who.

The thing about RPGs is that there are different classes. It is part of the whole character creation process in video games. Players must assess how they are going to play, and choose a class to become or work to becoming. This is important, as this will be the character that players will be controlling them for a majority, if not all, of the game. After creating a character, you must then compile a party.

One must choose party members that compliment each other. Not telling the other members positive and uplifting things, but rather a set of characters that work well to be the most effective and efficient at removing enemies from ones path. In my game of Dragon Age: Inquisition, the game from which I have drawn the inspiration to ramble on about a basic mechanic of most every other RPG out there, my character is a rogue. I like to sneak about the battlefield and backstab enemies so that I may deal massive amounts of damage. Also in my part is a warrior, another rogue, and a mage. The warrior is the one who draws all the attention of enemies so that I can get behind them and get my backstabs, and my other party members wont get smashed. The role of the warrior is absolutely essential to controlling the battle, if she go down, it's chaos. Meanwhile, I have my other rogue, who specializes as an archer, and my mage. Both of these characters provide long range support. These two hang back and fire barrages of arrows and lighting. By the way, Arrows and Lighting is going to be the name of my band when I learn how to play an instrument. When everyone is outfitted with the best gear and abilities, we roll over any kind of opposition that we face.

When managing your characters in Roll Playing Games, you don't just manage yourself, but the other members of your party as well. It is important to keep them in good health and make sure that they are the best that they can be. You have to manage their weapons, armor, and even skills. Kind of sounds familiar, no? I think that the human thing for us to do with the people who matter most in our lives is that they are the best that they can be. Iron sharpens iron, and one person sharpens another. We want what is best for those in our lives. We may not always know what is best for them, but we still try our best. It hurts to see when those we care about are feeling down. Naturally we do what we can to pick them up.

We may not always be on the same level as them, or understand what they are going through because we don't think or function the same way that they do. Yet, we want to make sure that they are at their best, because you need them just as much as they need you. Or perhaps not, and we are just keeping them around because they are familiar to us. Life is tricky like that sometimes. In video games, you can come across new party members, and easily swap them out for old ones at the word "go", but reality isn't quite as easy. To do such a thing in real life would be cruel, and heartless, even if it is the necessary thing to do so that you can improve. Like I said, life is tricky.

So, we must ask ourselves: who are we? What role do we play? Am I a warrior surrounded by other warriors? Is my team really effective against the dragons in my life? Am I outfitted to be the best that I can be? When was the last time that I leveled up? Am I just grinding, or am I making my way through the main quest, and is my team leading me towards those goals? Video game jargon aside, seriously ask yourself these questions, and find out who you are and who you are to those around you. It could very well change your life.

You Must Gather Your Party Before Venturing Forth (Part 2)

It really sucks to be alone. Rather, it sucks to be lonely. Why is it then that so many games have the player portrayed as "the lone hero". You know, in life it doesn't make sense to try and tackle this whole thing by yourself. That's why you have relationships with people. You have friends, family, lovers, husbands, wives, and so on. The question that I didn't ask in my last post was: why? To slay dragons of course.

Continuing with Dragon Age: Inquisition, and the unreasonable amount of hours that I have put into that game, I have been playing it a lot. As to be expected, there are dragons in Dragon Age: Inquisition. They are some of the most difficult, and awkward battles that you have to fight in the game. Players can only attack the ankles of all four legs, or the head. Attacking the ankles doesn't seem to do that much, nor does it seem all that cool. However, attacking the head is more epic, yet also puts you in danger of having your upper half bit off by the massive jaws of the dragon. That all being said, it isn't impossible to kill a dragon, it just takes a great amount of doing. With a party that compliments one another that can work together to complete the task of killing a dragon, it makes things a little bit easier.

There are things in the life that we can handle on our own. I want to make that clear. Sometimes people can muddle things up, and might just be extra weight. However, when it comes to the bigger things, you absolutely need other people to help you out. I am struggling with depression, and it is like fighting a dragon. It's difficult, and it's awkward, but I have a support group of people to help me out. It's difficult because any progress that is made doesn't feel like I've taken any steps forward at all, and it's awkward because it's extremely odd to talk about. There's a whole bunch of societal unwritten rules that make it difficult to talk about this sort of thing. As a man, I have a sort of expectation to be the hero. To be the person that can undertake any task by himself. By doing so, I will prove myself to be a man. That's bullshit.

I believe that one becomes a man by humbling himself and actually asking for help. Setting aside one's pride to handle a problem that absolutely needs help. This is the problem with a majority of other games. Halo, for example, has fellow marines that drop in with The Master Chief, but they're all just expendable chaff that gets blown away in the first few minutes of combat like dust in the wind. I don't need to be the hero of my own story. I need to survive and be happy with myself. I can't do that alone. There is something to be said about someone who accomplishes something great on their own, but I'm not that person. I'm no hero, I'm just me. That should be good enough, but I still need help getting through this thing called life.

That's why I love my friends who stand by me. I need them. Even if they don't fully understand why I get in the moods that I do, or understand that depression is a disease that affects my thoughts and feelings. It's a dragon, and it takes a lot of guts to fight a dragon. Those who are crazy enough to stand by you when facing down a dragon, those are the ones whom you can call a true friend.

You Must Gather Your Party Before Venturing Forth

I've been playing a lot of Dragon Age: Inquisition lately, and I am loving it. It's such a rich game with a lot to explore and think about. It's a high fantasy game, you know the kind with elves, dwarfs, dragons and the like, which is strange for me to enjoy. I'm normally a science-fiction kind of guy. Yet, Bioware has a knack for making games that I truly can enjoy and become immersed in. The studio takes everything that we know and love about RPGs and makes them better, with quality writing that is both well rounded and engaging, and gameplay that is fun and deep.

What I would like to write about today is the party system. Now, every RPG worth its weight in experience points has a party system. Chances are, that there is also a huge cast of characters that you can choose from to create a party that is effective. I started thinking, this is a bit like the relationships that we have in real life, right? We have lots of friends, but only a select few of them we can call our best friends. We see it all the time on Facebook. Sometimes I glance at the number next to the word Friends on my page and wonder how it was that I accumulated over one hundred people. It's really kind of astonishing, given that I feel like I can only claim to have about four or five people in my life that I can truly call a friend. Yet, those are the people who matter most to me. Those are the people whom I would take on an adventure. I can rely on them. I trust them.

This happens a lot in RPGs. There will be over twenty characters to choose from, but you can only take two or three with you when actually playing the game. It almost doesn't seem fair. Each member that you can choose from has a skillset, and are capable at getting things accomplished. It kind of comes down to preference. In Mass Effect, I would always take Garrus and Wrex. These two were my crew. We rolled over everything that stood in our way. The rest of the team would stay on the ship and check their smartphones. Meanwhile, me and my two best friends were out there saving the galaxy. I kind of feel bad for the other teammates, but I just don't enjoy their company as much as I do with Garrus and Wrex. Sometimes, though, we have to let go of the people in our lives because we realize that they might not be the healthiest person to be around.

In Mass Effect 2, which I've played through multiple times, I would do the same thing. Once I discovered that Garrus could be on my team again, you know he was right there at my side. He still needed his Krogan counterpart, though. Then came Grunt. The team was back together, more or less. One day, while playing through Mass Effect 2 for the fifth or sixth time, I decided to take an interest in Thane Krios. I usually play as female Shepard, because Jenifer Hale is my girl and because her voice isn't quite as weird as the male Shepard voice actor Mark Meer. So, being a female, I could romance either Thane or Garrus. In previous runs of ME 2, I would always go with Garrus. After all, he was the guy that I would always take on missions. There was a special bond between him and me. However, the more that I really thought about the character of Garrus, the more I started to question him. Garrus is a former cop, who was always frustrated by the rules and regulations that he had to abide by. When he got the chance to travel across the galaxy with Shepard, and not have to follow those rules, he jumped at the chance. Being that Shepard was now a Specter, a special operatives agent who answered directly to the council, she could do whatever she thought was necessary to complete the mission. What Garrus thought was necessary was a bullet through the skull of whoever was on the business end of his sniper rifle.

In the loyalty mission for Garrus, he goes 100% bad cop. The story of Garrus between Mass Effect and Mass Effect 2, is that Garrus took up residence in Omega, a wretched hive of scum and villainy where there was no laws or regulations to speak of. This was right up Garrus' alley. Garrus didn't like seeing innocent people get hurt, so he became a vigilante for justice. However this justice was his brand of justice, which includes the aforementioned skull bullets. Garrus created a team of people from all around Omega who would join his cause to make the galaxy a little bit of a brighter place, but it would all come crashing down. Garrus was betrayed by one of his own. We find this out in Mass Effect 2, and discover that Garrus is out for blood. At the end of the loyalty mission, we are given a choice to stand in the path of Garrus and his target, allowing him to say what has been going on since the time he had betrayed Garrus and his team. Garrus is furious with Shepard, and begrudgingly lets the target go. I think it was the right thing to let the man live. He was already beaten. Perhaps he wished for death, but murder was not the answer. Garrus wanted nothing more than to kill that man, and he would hurt as many people as he could to make that happen.

Throughout the mission, Garrus is pretty much frothing with anger and rage. He was brutal in his methods to extract information from whomever knew anything about his target. Then we meet Thane, in a completely different place and time.

Thane is an assassin. It isn't the cleanest career, but then again, neither is being a Specter for the council. Once Thane joined the crew, and I started to talk with him more, I discovered more about who he was. I learned about his thoughts and principles. I learned of his religion, and the code by which he abides. I learned of his past, and his wife and child. To gain Thane's loyalty to the crew, Shepard teams up with Thane to track down his son, so that he doesn't become an assassin like his father. Thane is not proud of killing, but he does it because he finds that the assassin is a tool, and not a person. The orders are issued, and then carried out. However, Thane still knew that he was a murderer, and he didn't wish the same for his son. Thane is a caring man, and he is a good man. He settled down, and started a family, and he swore to never kill again. However, an enemy that was made in his past life had caught up to him, and killed his family. Thane struck back by killing everyone who was connected to those who took his family from him. This is rather similar to Garrus' story, the only difference is: Thane regrets killing all of those people.

I eventually chose Thane over Garrus, and it broke my heart. It definitely broke Garrus'. Every time that Garrus went back to his calibrations, it hurt that he wouldn't talk to me anymore. I deserve it. I feel terrible for breaking his heart, and seemingly betraying him after I spent all that time talking with him to get to know him better. In the end, though, I feel as though I made a choice to be with someone whom I respected, and someone whom I admired. I could see myself being with someone more like Thane than Garrus. So, that's my story.

But, don't we all have stories like that? Stories where we realize that someone might not be the best for us. It hurts to cut them loose like that, but at the end of the day, we have to. Perhaps because they are holding us back from becoming better. Perhaps it's because we're holding ourselves back by staying with them, and holding on to the past. We have to have people in our lives that make us feel loved. People who encourage us, and improve us. People who can push us forward, and people that we can rely on. We may have many friends to choose from, but we can only take a few with us on this adventure called life.

Are You There God? It's Me Svederik.

What's the deal with religious representation in video games? Not just video games, but any kind of media in general. Can you think of a character with a religious background that doesn't make your eyes roll with disappointment? It seems as though whenever someone writes a religious character, that is their only defining characteristic. It really irks me.

The religious character in video games tends to be the bad guy. They justify their actions with a sort of "divine right" so that they may carry out the will of their god. As a Christian myself, it's embarrassing to see religion represented this way. God does not want his people to carry out such actions. Furthermore, people would see this person committing these acts in the name of God and fight against him, not join him. The church congregation may often be refereed to as God's sheep, but as humans, we do not follow blindly just because someone mentions Jesus. We follow because we have faith.

This brings me to the second stereotype that is represented in video games: the faithful religious guy. This character is often praying constantly in the midst of a crisis. There could be zombies banging down their door and they will be kneeling in the middle of the room praying for God to save them. Even though they may be Christian, they still have their faith and will still evacuate a city if the weather service says that a massive hurricane is headed straight for them. Faith without works is dead, says the book of James, and simply praying is not enough to stop whatever is happening. Humans have basic knowledge to know when to take action. It's a fight or flight situation. Some will stay to fight, and others will run. In times of crisis, those are your only two options, and prayer will not help.

Finally on my list of religious stereotypes is the religious party member. This characters religion seems to be their only defining characteristic. There isn't much else to them other than their blind faith, which carries them through the countless battles that you and the rest of the team go through. One character that comes to mind is Liliana from Dragon Age: Origins. I never really used her in my party, because two rogues is too many. However, I did try to get with her because she was a ginger, and it's a Bioware game so having sex with your party members is something that players can do. So, with my sights set on Liliana, I began talking and talking and talking with her to try and work the mechanics of the game so that her approval rating of me would be high enough so that I could basically unlock the sex scene which would just fade to black. Either way, Leliana would only talk about her faith, and her life in Orlais. Her life in Orlais was very pampered, and she lived like a princess, she eventually grew tired of that and joined the Chantry, which is basically the church, and started helping people. Leliana had heard the words of the Maker speak directly to her the moment that your character crosses paths with her, and decides to join up with your crew of rapscallions to save the world. Oh, and she apparently can fire a bow pretty well. I found Leliana's character to be very annoying. Her constant praise of the Maker and Andraste, another holy figure in the lore of Dragon Age, to be a constant droning. It was as though she was a student in school who was very dedicated to her work and nothing else. She doesn't really know anything outside of her previously pampered life and the Chantry. Leliana's faith was not her strength, or her refuge, but more like stipulations and rules that she abides by. I want to see her mess up. I want to see her fail. I want to see her have a real crisis of faith. Not because I am cruel, but because it would make her so much more human.

One thing that people seem to forget is that Christians are human. We make so many mistakes. We have regrets. We mess things up. We are not perfect. We even have moments of doubt, and question the god that we follow. Never will you see this in a good work of art. Instead, you'll see stereotype after stereotype of someone of faith, and it will be the opposite of what it is like to be a man or woman of Christ. Perhaps there is a well written character out there who is of some kind of faith, whether Christian, Muslim, Hindu, or what have you, but I just haven't seen it yet, and I'd really like to. It would make for such an engaging and compelling character.

Do You Even Art?

I'm sure that I've discussed this somewhere on this blog before, but I want to talk about it again. Are video games art? Yes. I'd like to think that they are. There is a lot of work and care that go into them, and they are an expression of the developers. The people who made the game what it is, did so in a way that only they could. Therefore, making video games art. Quite simply, art is an expression. It can be whatever you want it to be. It is a creation, an action, a performance, or just whatever. So long as its creator did so in a way that only they could, it is a unique creation. But, why does this conversation of games as art matter? It's because games have become a part of our culture.

there are several cornerstones of society that make each civilization distinct. One of those is art. Art can be dismissed sometimes, as people will write it off as "oh, it's just a painting" or "it's just a book". No! these are works of art that a lot of great care went into. These pieces of art have changed peoples lives! They have given others hope when they had none! They opened up someone's mind to think differently than they had before! Games have certainly done so for me!

However, video games are still written off as only pop-culture. Yet, pop-culture is still culture. It may be more prevalent than other forms of art, and I can spout off statistics of how much money the video game industry makes each year, but that wont convince you of why it is still a major part of our society.

Games have evolved so much from when they started. Before, they were just challenges, and children's playthings. Now, with games like Minecraft, they have become creative tools. Children all around the world work at their games of Minecraft to build, create, explore, and learn. There is even a school in New York City that uses Minecraft to teach children. You couldn't even imagine that was a possibility in the days of the arcade.

Games now tell engaging stories, that players can get wrapped up and engrossed in. Mass Effect creates an entire universe that is full of life, culture, politics, peoples, technology, economy, war, turmoil, and all of that which makes it feel like a real place. I love Mass Effect, so I may be a bit bias here, but it is one of the greatest games I've ever played. I have spent hours just wandering around the Citadel taking in the views, and eavesdropping on random citizens having conversations about whether or not there are fish in the fountains of the Presidium. That's just a random kind of thing that real people would talk about, and it only ads to the illusion of realism that Mass Effect creates. The writers of Mass Effect took great care to make a world that was believable and one that players would want to learn more about. There is a novels worth of information in each Mass Effect game that describes the smallest of details about everything in that universe. I can tell you all about Quarian Society, or how long an Asari lives to be, or how many hearts a Krogan has (it's two, by the way). I have fallen in love with this game, and it's all because the people behind it made something that only they can make. They have told a great story, full of character and heart. To dismiss this as "just a game" would be an injustice.

Video games are most certainly an art form. We, as gamers, as a society, need to view them as such. This is a conversation that is worth having, because games are worth while. Players can explore, and express themselves in the realm of video games. They can become someone else, and escape the trappings of reality for a few hours. These video games mean a lot to many different people. I cherish my video game experiences, as do many gamers. Video games have come so far, and so fast, that they are doing things that nobody could have imagined. They break the mold of what games can do, and what art can do, further pushing the envelope of expression and storytelling. Games are a part of our culture, and it is important that we recognize that. They do more good than we recognize, and that too should be a part of the conversation. To shame someone for playing video games is an insult on who they are. No, you do not know what is best for them. You have not walked in their shoes, and you do not yet understand the joy that video games have brought to that individuals life. Do not shame someone for playing video games. Instead, let them explain to you why they love them so much. Open the conversation, and your mind, to video games. Together, gamers and non-gamers alike, we can change the world.

The Value in JRPGs

I wish that I played more JRPGs. I'm kind of envious of people who can put the time and effort into playing them. They spend so much time in them, that I wish that I could get wrapped up in a story the way they do. However, I've played a few, and they just haven't had the same affect on me as those who are fans of them. Now, I've said my fair share about Final Fantasy, the quintessential JRPG franchise, but that's just one series. There's a lot more JRPGs out there that are well done, and there's a lot of value to the genre on the whole of RPGs that isn't just restricted to the Japanese market.

The special thing about RPGs is that they tell great stories. Players can get really wrapped up in them, as they explore the game, and fight the good fight. You can spend time leveling up your characters, and decking them out with the best gear so that they can overcome any obstacle that comes their way. It may seem like a bit of a stretch, but I feel like this can be somewhat of a life lesson in a way.

In life, we have many different talents, passions, and various other things about ourselves that we can improve upon. As with RPGs, we have our party of characters. A smart player will have a party full of characters that will compliment each other and work well together. Players spend time working on this party of characters, and leveling them up so that they can be as effective as possible. Much like in real life, we have talents that we work on so that we can become better at them. We may be talented at a lot of things, but there are some things that we focus on more than others. Most JRPGs give you a party of about three characters, but give players the option of about twelve or fifteen. Pokemon has over seven hundred Pokemon to choose from, but only allow for six at a time. You have to choose wisely, and create a party that is effective enough to overcome challenges.

We won't always be the best at everything right away, though. We have to work at our talents. Much like in JRPGs, there's a grind. I hate grinding in video games. I want to be the hero, and I want to save the world. There should be a reason why I was chosen to save the world and everyone in it. I don't want to be some average Joe that has to train to be good enough. However, in real life, the world doesn't always need saving from some great evil, but we are the heroes of our own story. So, we have to resort to grinding. We have to work on our skills and abilities to improve ourselves and become better. We can pick up pretty much anything, and with effort become a master of it. It might take longer than we'd like for whatever we pick up to get up to speed with the rest of our talents, but sometimes we just have to accept that we don't know much about whatever it is that we just started. Often times in RPGs we're faced with the scenario of getting a new character who just isn't on the same level as everyone else in our party, but this new character is really cool and interesting, so we do our best to level him up and get him up to speed. This is a long and arduous process. This new character ends up dying a lot, and doesn't gain quite as much as experience, because the other characters are landing more hits, and doing more damage than this new character. Yet, he or she is still gaining experience, and slowly is growing. We have to be patient when we work on our talents. We wont always be able to pick up something and immediately be good at it. There's a lot of work that goes into becoming good at something.

I may not play many JRPGs, or any kind of RPGs for that matter, but there is some real world value to them. We're all very talented people, and we all have something to offer. We just have to grind away the hours at leveling up our special gifts.