man up!

blah blah blah blah BLAH!

i'm writing because i'm too lazy to open up my regular word processor program on my computer, so there will indeed be many a grammatical and spelling error abound.

anyhow, i hate japanese story telling. seriously. i hate their character "archetypes", i hate their stories, they all just bore me and just plain annoy me. i hate the fact that a majority of the main characters in japanese games are male leads with daddy issues, or some blatant emotional problem that he decides to burden his entire party of adventurers with while they're TRYING TO SAVE THE WORLD, AND QUITE POSSIBLY THE UNIVERSE! I don't give a damn about how you miss your father, or how you have feelings for this one girl but don't have the cahones to tell her about your feelings, i don't care that you had a tough childhood. sure this is all part of your character, but can you reserve these things for another time, and not have to tell me about it every 5 minutes or so. i'd rather get on with the world saving if you don't mind. it's bad enough that the game makes me grind for progress. that's another topic which i will get to later.

a character that comes to mind when i think of japanese archetypes for male leads is squall from final fantasy 8. i'm not a fan of the final fantasy games, i think the gameplay sucks, i think the story sucks, i think the characters suck(all of them), and i think the mechanics suck. the only thing that that i like about final fantasy games is the gorgeous art, and it's simply incredible music. those two elements do not for a great game make. anyhow, squall is a punk. not a cool kind of punk that listens to punk rock and looks like he would beat you up for looking at him funny, but the kind of punk whom you could beat up simply because you could. and because he complains a lot. and he has a stupid haircut. squall also happens to be a graduate from a school where they teach people to become mercenaries. i would think that a requirement for being a mercenary is to be a cold-hearted killer with no real conscience and whose only concern is getting the job done and getting paid afterwards. wouldn't you know it, squall is none of these things. he's a whiny little punk who complains about not knowing what to do with his life, how he's had a rough childhood, and is worse than me when it comes to dealing with the ladies. squall is an emotionally stagnated pillock who, if you were looking at a description of his personality, you most likely couldn't tell him apart from a brick wall, which actually do have more character than him because they're gorgeous! like the rest of the game, but good looks can only get you so far.

as i previously said i'm not a fan of final fantasy. so i really can't tell you much beyond, final fantasy 8, but i've played a little bit of 10 and a good deal of 12. and from what i can tell, and from what i've heard my friends tell me about the main characters, is that they're all whiny punks. why? why would i want to sit through a 60 plus hour game listening to this kids daddy issues. there are bigger things at stake than getting something that's been nagging at you for the past week off your chest. like i don't know, THE WORLD! why is it that destiny just so happens to pick out these lousy whiny punks to save the day? if destiny wanted these kids to man up, just send them to work on a construction site, or a factory or on a ranch. something that will build their character.

here's another thing. at some points in the game the characters will consider the value of life. when, throughout the entire game they have been killing countless random encounter enemies to level up for their own benefit. what about them? what about that dire wolf who was just out hunting for some food? all they had on them was some leather pants and 12 bucks for some reason, and that's all that those battles mean to the player. loot and experience points. after the lesson of life is learned, they go and face the final boss, and kill him. no problems, complaint , or moral questioning. sure he, or she, was evil, but they just spent a good deal learning about how life is precious. blech.

the side characters are even more messed up. once i played final fantasy 13 and only once will i play it. because the side characters made no sense and the character, this time a girl, was still a whiny punk. at least she built up emotional walls and pushed every one away to hide that she was a whiny punk. the side characters didn't make sense. i already said that, but i will again. they all end up in this mess because of chance it seems. if i recall they are all trying to escape because the over zealous government had quarantined them from the city because they may or may not be monsters... or something like that. anyway, they all get off the train and end up in a shine that was built by the monsters, or maybe it was for them, and something happens. the stars align and they all receive a mysterious tattoo that's basically a mark of death. and everybody has to save the world before the end times and they all win. but along the way you have to deal with this ridiculous cast of characters, that have no right saving the world. one of the characters who seems to be wearing a rabbit pelt must be from outer space because she has no idea how this world, or any for that matter work. she just goes off on her own adventure, and says things that have no context or any right to be said in the first place, how she manages to play a supportive role in combat is completely beyond me. much like another character in this no where even close to be calling rag-tag team. Hope. Hope, for one thing, is a male character. Hope is not a guys name. Hope is also not a symbol for hope, does not offer hope, does not to anything to instill hope, and is in no way a fighter. he spends the entire game cowering. yet will stand straight up and kill anything that comes before him. he will shoot fire from his hands to kill something that is vulnerable to fire. WHAT? how does this play to his character. you know when telling a story, of anykind, character and consistency of said character is a bit of a necessity. plus... he's just a bitch.

ok ok ok, i know that there are other japanese games other than final fantasy out there that have a major focus on story telling. but, from what i hear, read, and see it all seems to be the same scenario. gorgeous graphics, beautiful music, terrible story, stupid characters, sometimes with amnesia, and bad gameplay. it's the same thing with anime as well, for the most part anyhow. whiny main characters, also some times with amnesia, and a story that doesn't make much sense. so maybe it ain't quite my thing, but i just don't understand the appeal of having to deal with whiny characters for such a long time.

so, all in all, just man up japan. i want to witness, or play as a cool bad ass character, who understands what's at stake, who does have issues, but deals with them rather than complain about them to everybody whom he crosses paths with. Luke Skywalker was a bit of a whiner, but he manned up and became a totally awesome jedi master. three quarters of the way through final fantasy 8 squall was still a static, whiny, complaining, cardboard cut out of a character whom i never grew to like or relate to. gimme something to work with here people. I'm not saying all of japanese story telling is like this, it just seems that a good majority of it is, and it irks me to no end. I'm out.